Spontaneaus or planned?

Usually I’m really precise. I plan ahead, I research the area I’m visiting and read a lot to know as much as possible. I check the itineraries from A to B, double check the options and timings. I do the math based on all the facts I collect and this brings security when I reach my destination. I know where I get what I need, I know what to expect. But I also find it incredibly limiting, as my whole plan fails if I follow my instincts and turn right instead of the planned left.

It was not always like this. I was not neat and tidy, and was not planning ahead. I guess my mom could tell some stories about this. Like how was it trying to get into my room against all odds, as the stuff piled behind the door made it a physical challenge, or how finding anything in the mess on my desk was an adventure. Reading my books and preparing for my exams in the last moment is not a sign of a planning personality type either.

But I changed. One day I woke up realizing, that I’m not a messy girl anymore. I’m tidy, I plan and instant decisions, spontaneous moments are not on the menu. I guess I fear the unplanned, the unknown. But my self-discovery trip pulls me in this direction. Somehow to return to the stage, when I was a bit less prepared. To be present and do what the moment dictates me to do. Right, my mental note in the background just got activated, listing why this is not a good idea: life will be more expensive if I make last minute decisions; I’ll miss something; I’ll have no idea of the cultural/historical layer of the places I’m visiting…

I aim for finding a golden path somewhere in between. Plan, but not over-plan. And if I feel like doing something different, let the plans go and do not waste feelings on the work invested, just enjoy following my heart. I’m facing great challenges here, for sure.